That
by Einhorne
Summary: That Thing wasn't a Thing they struggled with very often, considering how they weren't out to the general public as anything other than male and didn't have to combat it publicly. When it turned up-mostly in the form of official paperwork like this-it turned into a day of confused head-scratching and half-assed responses.


So this is fairly self-indulgent. I started watching this show and immediately realized that I HAD to do a gender-soul-searching fic. Immediately when Barnaby came up on screen I pointed at Barnaby and said "that's the one that one's agender, like me". I'm not cis, as a note.  
Dedicated to tumblr users agenderreid (donniedont on ao3) and savarend. You guys are great.  
This is short because my attention span sucks majorly.

* * *

They were not unfamiliar to filling out forms-there were a lot of legal things to deal with in terms of being on HeroTV, with all the interviews and talk show appearances and that sort of jazz. What was unfamiliar, however, was the sudden influx of what those forms contained. Usually, the subject could be avoided or left off the sheet entirely, but recently that had not been the case.

Kotetsu frowned at one particularly irritating form and set it aside for later, among the ever-growing pile of them that all fell under the category of "Avoid That One Subject". It was growing higher and higher by the minute and was reaching that height where one would assume it would start to fall. Except, somehow, it hadn't. Not yet, anyway. Except that the height was only an exaggeration and only appeared to be a mile high, ala Kotetsu's bored brain trying to amuse itself.

When the man turned his brown eyes to look at the pile his partner-Barnaby-had accumulated, he found himself staring at an equally high stack, except maybe more organized. The other's face appeared blank, emotionless, and concentrated but Kotetsu knew that his partner was slowly beginning to grow more and more annoyed by the second, going by how tightly the pen in Barnaby's hand was being held.

Kotetsu turned back to the last few remaining forms he had to fill out. He stared at the one sitting on his desk before him, suddenly having an urge to activate his Hundred Power and send the desk and all the papers on it flying out the window.

Please circle one: Male - Female

"This is terrible," he muttered, "and awful. I don't want to be here." Kotetsu laid his head down on the desk in defeat. His green and white hat slid off his head and landed on the floor with a plop.

He heard the creak of a chair as Barnaby stood up and the tap of feet against the floor as the other walked over to pick up the hat.

"Tired already, old man?" Kotetsu's partner teased. Barnaby placed the hat back onto the man's head.

It fell off again. "No," Kotetsu groaned, "Bunny, help me. What do I do about this?" he waved at the form on the desk.

Barnaby peered at the offending piece of paper, eyebrows raised. "Do about what? We've been filling out forms all day, surely you know how to do at least that."

Another groan. "I know how to do the forms," Kotetsu sat up again, but slid into a slouched position, "I don't know what to do about this!" he pointed at the offending portion of the paper with vehemence.

Barnaby's eyebrows raised further. "This appears to be a recurring issue in your forms, Kotetsu."

"Yes," The man said, exasperated, "I'm not used to having to put that-" a finger poked at the male or female section of the form again "on these things!" he gestured at the precarious tower of paper.

A few moments passed. Barnaby glanced between the forms and Kotetsu with an odd expression. "Old man," Barnaby said after a few moments, "I'm just as confused as you are."

"I get that, Bunny," Kotestu replied, exasperated, "we have had many numerous conversations about this, but what do I put there-"

"Just cross it out or something," Barnaby snapped, "and replace it with your own."

"But with what?" Kotetsu threw his pen down on the desk in defeat, "You're not being very helpful, here!" he groaned again and put his head in his hands.

Barnaby's fingers massaged now pounding temples. "Old man, find a sheet where it has that 'other' option and we'll deal with this one later."

Kotetsu raised his head from his hands and glared at the offending paper before shoving it to the side and beginning to rummage through the pile of forms next to him, sending the sheets flying everywhere. "Ah-ha!" he exclaimed as he pulled out one that had this upon the sheet:

Please circle one: Male - Female - Other (_)

It was a breath of fresh air considering the hell the two had been going through for the past few hours. That Thing wasn't a Thing they struggled with very often, considering how they weren't out to the general public as anything other than male and didn't have to combat it publicly. When it turned up-mostly in the form of official paperwork like this-it turned into a day of confused head-scratching and half-assed responses.

And the re-doing of forms because whoever was in charge of them was not amused with Barnaby's crossing out of the "male-female" options and replacing them with a beautifully written "NO" in capital letters. Not to mention Kotetsu's "forgetting" of the damn things entirely, which was almost as bad if not worse.

It would only be a matter of time before the press caught wind of their "issues" and began to run things like "Wild Tiger & Barnaby: Gender Crisis?" in the news. The talk would begin, and the interviewers would pry, and it would all spiral down into a complete disaster and an embarrassment for all around.

The rumor mill was already turning in regards to the supposed romantic partnership between Kotetsu and Barnaby (which neither of them minded, really) and it would spin all the faster if any more juicy details were discovered.

Kotetsu scratched his head. Now that he had a form that wasn't going to make him perform the aforementioned Hundred Powered desk-flipping, he had to complete it.

Except that was impossible because he didn't know what to put there. Barnaby at least knew what Barnaby was doing; early in their partnership the other had mentioned to Kotetsu that Barnaby avoided the use of pronouns at all costs, which was easy enough if not sometimes Kotetsu had to jump through grammatical hoops.

Kotetsu picked up his pen. "Bunny," he said again, "what do I put here."

His partner's eye twitched. "I don't know," Barnaby snapped, "just put something ridiculous, we are not repeating this conversation again-"

"Alright, alright," Kotetsu waved his hands wildly in a placating gesture, "no need to get your panties in a bunch, geeze." he said loudly.

"Watch it!" Barnaby dodged a hand as it came a little too close to knocking Barnaby's glasses off for comfort, "you're impossible, old man, just put something ridiculous, like dad gender or something-"

"Dad gender?" Kotetsu said, "That's-that's...definitely ridiculous," he chortled, "but maybe-" He scribbled something down on the paper, then threw his pen down on the desk triumphantly.

Please circle one: Male - Female - Other (Dad Gender)

Barnaby pressed two fingers to Barnaby's forehead. "I can't believe you went for it, old man."

Kotetsu "Dad Gender" Kaburagi grinned. Barnaby resisted taking the other's hat and smacking him across the face with it.


End file.
